Success and happiness
The dream of success is what drives the self-help publishing industry, where every other book or video that comes out seems to be on how to obtain wealth! But success can mean different things to different people. What is your definition of success? And does being professionally successful make you happy?
Having met many high achievers over the years, I have come to realise that outward success is no guarantee of inner contentment. Our achievements can bring us satisfaction, but once a goal is reached, we soon start looking for the next one.
People who experience professional or financial success, particularly early on in life, often feel they have to perpetuate the successful image – which can lead to all sorts of existential issues.
When addicted to success, your sense of identity is fragile, as it relies on the amount of money you earn or the praise you receive from others, which can fluctuate widely. Think of political leaders or pop stars and how fickle their supporters can be.
Like any form of addiction, the aim is to run away from ourselves and to numb rather than face any emotional pain. Indeed, a common ‘side effect’ of worldly success is the split that takes place between the public persona and the inner self, the latter remaining hidden, or suppressed, to the point that you lose touch with who you truly are.
Sadly, we live in a society that puts professional and financial success before anything else. This creates much competition and has negative effects on the workforce: mental health problems are now the leading cause of sickness absence in the UK and 60% of full-time employees worldwide report being stressed all or most of the time at work.
Clearly, something isn’t right. Perhaps we need to reconsider our priorities with regard to success and happiness and realise that it is impossible to have one without the other.
Neuroscience and positive psychology studies show that happiness is crucial to achieving success. By triggering the release of hormones that enhance memory, focus, motivation and problem-solving, positive emotions help the brain work better.
Some of those studies also show that we all do better at subjects we like, because our brains work better when we’re engaged in activities we enjoy. This is exactly what positive psychology is about: identifying your strengths and using them in your social and professional interactions in order to contribute to the happiness of others. Which, in turn, will increase your own happiness.
Another effective way of increasing happiness is being present. A Harvard study shows that, on average, we spend about 50% of our waking time thinking about something other than what is happening right now. We all know that ruminating over past events or worrying about the future does not make us happy. Therefore, we must learn to focus on what is happening in the present moment; i.e. we must develop the skill of mindfulness.
In a 78-year-long study on adult development, aiming to reveal clues to leading a happy and healthy life, researchers looked at all aspects of the lives of the 724 individuals, from very diverse backgrounds, who participated in the study. They found that healthy interpersonal relationships have the single most powerful positive influence on our overall health and happiness, protecting us from physical and mental decline. Yet, sadly, various surveys show that the two most popular life goals for young people nowadays are money and fame.
To be clear, I do not believe success in itself to be a bad thing. On the contrary, self-realisation (as in “the fulfilment of one’s own potential”) is a great thing that can only contribute to overall happiness. Nevertheless, the term “self-realisation” can also refer to a spiritual state of being where a person knows who they are and finds fulfilment in that awareness, regardless of external recognition. Most of us, however, long for that recognition to some degree or another – and there is nothing wrong with that. But in order to maintain emotional balance, high achievers must question the reasons behind their drive to succeed and be very vigilant not to let that drive quash their deeper, more authentic needs.