Healthy aggression
Most of us will agree that anger is unpleasant, if not altogether toxic. Like fear, it is classified as a high-energy negative emotion, as opposed to low-energy ones, such as sadness or guilt.
Yet, is there such a thing as healthy aggression?
Fear and excitement produce the same physiological response: a rush of adrenaline that prepares us to defend ourselves or run – fight or flight. Similarly, there is a close physiological correlation between an angry state and one of sexual arousal.
As the sex drive is an indispensable component of our survival as a species (we simply wouldn’t be here without it), we are all born with innate aggressive urges that are not at all destructive, but rather a drive for survival and growth.
Expressions of this force are often suppressed from an early age: children are scolded, even punished, for showing signs of self-assertion. Probably as a result of this, in adulthood they will tend to avoid any direct confrontation, resorting instead to not-so-healthy passive-aggressive behaviours.
As well as distasteful, anger is seen by many as not ‘spiritual’ or ‘enlightened’.
And yet there is anger that purifies the heart … the anger against the false and the wicked, against the tyrant’s sword, against the enemies of love.
– Henry van Dyke
While we must aim to neutralise the destructive aspects of this energy, it would be unwise to try and suppress altogether this side of our human nature. It is how we use it that makes all the difference.
Healthy aggression is the positive impulse to grow and be creative – ultimately to survive in the world. It is what motivates you to assert yourself against personal violation and to fight for your rights. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to face difficulties, make choices or set personal boundaries.
When this natural energy is blocked, it can become toxic and destructive. In other words, we become frustrated, angry and/or depressed.
Depression and anger are closely linked. Freud referred to depression as ‘anger turned inwards’. A 2013 UK study suggests that turning anger inwards increases the severity of depression. People who are affected by depression often have strong inner critics that reinforce feelings of inadequacy and shame. Allowing yourself to feel and express anger at these voices can be liberating, helping you feel more in touch with your healthy self.
Recent studies, however, suggest that while depressed individuals exhibit signs of anger suppression, they also tend to ruminate over past situations and therefore experience more feelings of hostility and irritability than mentally healthier people. Symptoms to watch out for include picking fights and being excessively critical and sarcastic – ie putting people down gratuitously.
In my experience, mindfulness meditation can be most helpful in reducing ruminative thoughts and regulating emotions. The practice teaches us to observe every thought and feeling that arises and passes, without reacting or holding on to it. With time, we learn to observe and tame our own minds, rather than allow ourselves to be ruled by them.
To some, this will sound far-fetched. To others, rather simplistic. However, while certain forms of anxiety and depression may need a pharmacological approach, conventional psychiatry has finally begun to recognise the efficacy of this ancient practice.