Identity and self-identity

In psychology, identity is a set of qualities, beliefs, looks and expressions that make an individual or a social group — and self-identity is a set of beliefs we have about ourselves, such as racial and gender identity or academic and professional success. In short, it is the answer to the question: Who am I?

Self-identity differs from self-esteem, which is our emotional evaluation of our own worth – and from self-awareness, which refers to our capacity for introspection. The idea of self-identity is mentioned in ancient Vedic philosophy as Ahamkara. 3000 years later, psychologists such as Carl Rogers (1902 - 1987) helped popularise the concept in the West.

Social psychologist John Turner (1947 - 2011) theorised that self-identity consists of at least two layers: a personal identity and a social one, ie how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us.

We start integrating our social identity into our own self-identity (ie we internalise what others think of us) during childhood and adolescence, when being ostracised and bullied on the basis of cultural or gender identity can cause lasting psychological damage. Social anxiety, for instance, often stems from a negative self-image. Also in adulthood, acceptance (or lack thereof) from our peers has a massive impact on our mental wellbeing, as social identity and a sense of belonging go hand in hand.

Besides our cultural and sexual identity, what makes us who we are—or who we think we are?

Many people define themselves by their political or religious beliefs. Others by their lifestyle: from gym-goers to globetrotters to radical hedonists. Some will identify with a physical or mental health condition they might have; while many others seem to identify with their material possessions.

One of the very first questions a new acquaintance is likely to ask us is, What do you do? Sadly, most people aren’t interested in where our passions and interests lie, so what the question really means is, How do you earn a living? But what we do for a living doesn’t always match what we identify with.

Carl Rogers sustained that emotionally healthy people can move away from societal expectations and find validation within themselves. Many young adults, however, will choose their career paths on the basis of the prestige they believe it entails, only to realise in mid-life that they’re in the wrong job.

So many people nowadays seem to overidentify with their work, often without realising how strong this identification is until, for whatever reason, they need to stop working; and suddenly they no longer know who they are or what to do with themselves.

This overattachment can be caused by an anxious nature and deep-rooted insecurity, where the person needs their role, title or material possessions to give them a sense of self-worth and can even become aggressive if their status is challenged in any way.

While these might sound like extreme cases, each one of us will identify with one or more external factors to some extent or another. In the age of social media, many young and not-so-young people seem to identify with their internet persona: often a false/contrived presentation of the self.

Talking to a good coach or therapist can help you reconnect with a more authentic self, ie with your deeper emotional needs, and to free yourself from the shackles of internalised shame that might be preventing you from fulfilling your potential.